The following rantings do not represent the views of the US Government or any Local/National Atheist groups.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Because Evangelicals Will Take a Walk


When asked by the website Newsmax “if he sees the GOP ever pivoting and backing gay marriage,” Huckabee admitted they might. “And if they do, they’re going to lose a large part of their base because evangelicals will take a walk,”

-          Umm, ok then. Fine with me. Good luck ever winning another presidential election if you spilt up your party because you don’t like thinking about two men legally fucking…on their wedding night…in the privacy of their own home, or a hotel, or the back of a Volvo, or w/e.

“And it’s not because there’s an anti-homosexual mood, and nobody’s homophobic that I know of, but many of us, and I consider myself included, base our standards not on the latest Washington Post poll, but on an objective standard, not a subjective standard."

-          Putting aside the fact that being against homosexual marriage because of some made-up damage it will do to society is, by definition, homophobia. I will read on. I know the rest of what he has to say is going to piss me off…but it feels soo good, like a razor to the thigh.  That and I can’t wait to read his logical back flips to support his so called “objective standard”.

“I have great sympathy and extraordinary admiration for Sen. Portman. I consider him a friend and I value his work in the Senate and think he’s a great person.”

-          Sympathy? Did his dog die?

“The mistake is that we sometimes base our public policy decisions on how we feel, how we think, maybe even some personal experiences, and we don’t regard a lot of these issues from the standpoint of an objective standard.”

-          Mistake? OH NOES! It can’t possibly be a good idea to take in personal feelings, how people think, or personal experiences when making important decisions like whether or not our government should oppress a minority!

“Let me explain what I mean by that.”

-          This should be enlightening…

“If we have subjective standards, that means that we’re willing to move our standards based on the prevailing whims of culture. Politicians have an obligation to be thermostats, not just thermometers. They’re not simply to reflect the temperature of the room, or the culture, as it were. They’re to set the standards for law, for what’s right, for what’s wrong, understanding that not everybody’s going to agree with it.”

-          Do I even have to say it…Slavery…we made slavery illegal because our culture changed on a whim, (oh and how whimsical is it that we figured out that owning another human is fucking disgusting) and we are better because of it. And what the hell are these standards he is talking about? Is there an American standards pamplet I didn't get that outlines our standards for this year?

“On this issue, I recognize the culture is moving away from the traditional standard, but it’s almost like saying, well, we have a basketball team and nobody on the team can hit the goal that’s 10 feet off the floor so we’re going to lower the goal down to six feet and that way everybody can slam dunk the ball.”

-          ?What? Are you saying we will be doing them a favor by letting them marry? And it’s not that they want to dunk. You have them playing by a different set of rules! You unbelievably crass piece of shit. This is real life and equality is important.

“So the question is, have you have improved your basketball game? Or have you actually just changed the standard so it looks like you’re doing better? And that’s my concern.”

-          Just admit it and fuck off you conservative twat. Your standards are set by the bible and you want to pretend America is your own little theocracy. Thankfully, for people who live in reality, legalized gay marriage is already a standard set by first world countries and people like you want us to stay in the 1900s only because them fags make your god uncomfortable.